Stage eight and it’s already been a week since Le Tour’s Grand Depart in Nice. Fingers crossed, the Tour will make it through the next fortnight despite the rising number of covid cases in France.
At the end of week one there had been three abandons - John
Degenkolb. Philippe Gilbert, Rafael Valls and Anthony Perez. By the end of the
day this list would grow by another four.
Over to the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahimi was
cooking up a pub staple steak frites with bearnaise sauce. Ah pub grub, does
anyone in lockdown Melbourne remember what pub food even looks like?
Over to the action and it promised to be a shortish but
nonetheless tough first day in the Pyrenees taking in the Col de Mente followed
by the first Hors Categorie climb Port de Balès and the Col de Peyresourde.
In the pretend caravan of commentary Robbie talked about the
challenges of transferring to the next stage on narrow winding roads. He noted a
certain Texan would take a helicopter ride off a mountain top finish in the
Pyrenees. I wonder who that could be?
The early thirteen-man breakaway featured the likes of Benoit
Cosnefroy, Frenchman Nans Peters, Ilnur Zakarin Quentin Pacher, Michael Morkov,
Neilson Powless and flying doormat Jerome Cousin.
Back in the peloton Mattie spotted Guillaume Martin, Tony
Martin and Daniel Martin riding together which is collectively known as The
House Martins.
I’m sure the riders enjoy the support of spectators, but
what about the ones screaming at the side of the road and not wearing masks?
Sounded like the tin foil hat protest in Melbourne today.
At 82km to go on the ascent of Col de Mente and Giacomo Nizzolo
abandoned. A real shame for the new European Champion but nursing a knee injury
on a tough climbing stage is a real ask.
Benoit Cosnefroy was the first to Hoover up the KOM points
on summit of Col de Mente. We’ve become so accustomed to seeing the Frenchman
in polka dots perhaps we should rename him Benoit Cosnepoid?
Bridie spotted Romain Bardet take a fall going up hill, which she said was an, “Obscure place to fall”. Yeah, by an obscure guard rail.
Ad watch: Who’s with me that if would be just fine if we
didn’t have to watch that Penfolds wine ad again?
Today was a very special stage for Tasmania’s Richie Porte
who, although couldn’t be there for the birth, welcomed his second child into
the world Eloise. Troll DJ couldn’t help but bust out Eloise by Barry Ryan
(although I prefer the version from The Damned).
Mattie was waxing lyrical about the new found friendship on
the course of Brit Connor Swift who had been selected to proect Nairo Quintana
on the windy days. It’s like the story of the bodyguard and the little
Colombian prince. I'm not crying, you're crying.
Pavel Sivakov who was one of the many riders to crash in the
rain on stage one in Nice looked to be gradually improving and might ride
himself out of lanterne rouge contention by day’s end.
Over to the breakaway and that of mullet of Jerome Cousin has
had so much TV time it'll be hosting its own chat show soon.
But the chat in the pretend caravan of commentary turned to
the work of veteran Tour medic Dr Florence Pommerie who leads the contingent of
medical staff who provide rolling first aid on the course and have all the
magic spray. Dr Leo Sayer could not be here at this year’s Tour as the hair
grew too big during iso to fit in the medic's car.
Forget choc milk, it's ice cream you want.
After the descent of Col de Mente, Porte de Bales, the home
of chain gate loomed. For those who came in late, chain gate refers to the
infamous incident during stage fifteen of the 2010 Tour de France on the ascent
of Porte De Bales.
Andy Schleck in yellow suffered a mechanical and Contador attacked,
a real no-no in cycling etiquette. Contador claimed not have seen Schleck was
in trouble - see no chain gate, hear no chain gate, speak no chain gate.
On the ascent Thibaut Pinot blew up AGAIN along with France’s
hope of a Frenchman on top of the podium in Paris. Quelle surprise.
Meanwhile in the breakaway we saw the emergence of,
according to Mattie, ‘The Ilnur Zakarin Three’ consisting of Zakarin, Nans
Peters and Nielson Powless. Are they an avant garde jazz trio? Into a bit of bopping
on the climbs and freestyle on the descent?
Peters took off like a scolded cat down the descent of the
Porte de Bales, which can’t be said of Zakarin who looked somewhat awkward,
hands on the brake hoods.
Powless dropped in on a barbeque on the descent and left
with a string of sausages trailing behind. Can’t blame the American for wanting
join in, it is Labor Day weekend back home in the US after all.
Back in the peloton in the climb up Col de Peyresourde, Primoz
Roglic had some serious Murder Hornet fire power in the form of, you guessed
it, Wout Van Aert.
Van Aert clocked off for the day but Tadej Pogacar lit up in
the words of Mattie like an, “excitement machine”. We saw the Nairo Quintana of
old fire up on the attack and Roglic couldn’t resist.
On the narrow roads of the climb there was not a lot of
distancing between spectator and rider, which has got to be a cause of concern
for race organisers but full marks to the masked up roadside random bananas.
On the ascent of the Peyresourde Nans Peters channelled the
spirit of Thomas Voeckler with a tongue out determination to be first across
the line.
If it’s any consolation to the French Pinot may have disappointed
but Peters more than made up for it with that stage victory. He may even get
some ice cream with dinner.
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