Stage four and the Couch Peloton was still buzzing about that masterstroke stage three win by Aussie Caleb Ewan. No doubt those final moments were replayed over and over and analysed by the SBS cycologists in the pretend caravan of commentary. Robbie called the final move the, "Sisteron slingshot", and it's not a cocktail.
Back in SBS headquarters host Tomo welcomed back who many an old Coucher would remember, cycling scribe ‘The Tan Man’ Anthony Tan. I can’t believe it’s been seven years since we last saw him on our screens, the year I started on the first edition of Le Wrap.
On the topic of sports media, Tomo lauded Rupert Guinness as, “The Phil Anderson of Australian cycling journalism", an Aussie ‘pioneer’ into the world of Le Tour. I would also add that Rupe was the pioneer of the Trollshirt for his colourful Hawaiian creations he often wore in the post stage wraps with Tomo.
However, learned Trollshirt historians were quick to attribute Aussie cycling legend, and now race director of Dwars door Vlaanderen, Scott Sunderland as the originator. I’ll spare you the photographic evidence.
In the Plat du Jour kitchen Guillaume Brahimi cooked a delicious slow roast lamb shoulder with crispy Kipfler potatoes.
Brahimi shared his secrets to cooking crispy spuds. First blanch the unpeeled potatoes and then they go into a hot fry pan. Then, wait for it, a little butter (OK, quite a lot of butter) goes into the pan to finish them off. It’s taken until stage four for the appearance of ‘the butter’ but better late than never.
Meanwhile the peloton set off on a somewhat novel stage in the history of Le Tour, never before have we seen a mountain top finish so early on. This would be a test to see how some of the GC favourites are shaping up for the rest of the Tour.
From the flag fall Nils Politt, Krists Neilands Mathieu Burgaudeau, Alexis Vuillermoz, Tiesj Benoot and Quentin Pacher formed the breakaway with Remi Cavagna and Tim Declercq leading the chase through spectacular scenery of the Devoluy mountains.
The peloton rode past what looked to be the cruise ship of ski lodges. It looked empty, no idea why.
Woet Poels didn’t look all that comfortable on the bike, can't be good riding with a broken rib and damaged lung. Robbie sought a second opinion from Dr Bridie O’Donnell, who agreed with the first opinion that it can’t be comfortable riding with a broken rib and damaged lung.
For sale, one Cervelo, needs a bit of work.
At 59.7km reports flowed in of the first bonafide vache sighting. We’ve had the butter, now the cows. The Tour is really starting to come together now.
Then the Tour chopper spotted its first tightrope walker, it's not Le Tour without a tightrope walker. At least he looked suitably socially distanced up there.
Some cross wind through the valleys saw a temporary formation of echelons that Bridie described as text book.
On-theme ‘farmers love Le Tour’ Field art featured tractors and vache. Mattie and Bridie thought Robbie was a tough marker giving it just 9.5 out of 10.
The stage progressed largely without incident until Tiesj Benoot in the breakaway group crashed into a road barrier on a descent. Benoot picked himself up unharmed, which could not said for the snapped carbon frame of his bike, so you could say chute for Benoot but his bike is root-ed.
The breakaway was eventually absorbed back into the peloton, except for Krists Neilands but with peloton hot on the heels it would soon be over for Neilands.
Murder Hornet Woet Van Aert took matters into his own hands and lead the peloton up the climb to Orcieres. Wow, this is a man who can beat Caleb Ewan in a sprint, is a demon on gravel and the mud and now he's dragging everyone else up a mountain. Is there anything Van Aert can't do?
And then it was Van Aert’s turn to swing off and it was the other Murder Hornet and former ski jumper Primoz Roglic who rode to victory.
There had been doubts about the form of Roglic having crashed out of the Criterium du Dauphine just a couple of weeks before the Tour. Needless to say these doubts have been put to rest.
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