Stage 5 GAP>PRIVAS - Are We There Yet?

The peloton is in Provence before heading off south west for some mountain days in the Pyrenees but today’s stage was going to be one for the sprinters. And how can it be stage five ALREADY? Time goes so fast when the iso lockdown days blur together.

Tour host Tomo and Robbie dissected the stage four one, two Slovenian finish of Primoz Roglic and Tadej Pogacar. Tomo and Robbie both agreed that Roglic was looking in good form despite the fact he was still carrying bandages from his race ending crash in the Criterium du Dauphine several weeks ago. It was enough to get Robbie excited about Roglic firming his chances as a serious contender for GC.

Tomo, did I hear you say, “Slo(w)venian riders?” They were pretty quick up the mountain yesterday...

News also came through that the 2020 UCI Road World Championships would now take place in Imola and the Emilia-Romagna region of Italy. Well, that’s at least something despite the disappointment that the U23 races had been dropped.

Over in the Plat du Jour kitchen Guillaume Brahimi prepared a dessert of Poire Belle Helene with warm chocolate sauce or chocolate coated poached pears. The twist? There is BUTTER. IN. THE. CHOCOLATE. SAUCE. Bravo Brahimi!

Out on the course the race set off from Gap to Privas with the noticeable absence of a breakaway.

On a relatively flat stage we know, and the breakaway riders know, they have Buckley’s chance of a win but an opportunity for some TV time for the team sponsors with the cameras cutting to the action on the front. But not today and this had a transition stage feel to it.

The riders were content to roll along in one big happy bunch in the peloton. There was even time for a bit of chit-chat. Come on fellas, is this Le Tour or a Sunday morning Beach Road coffee ride?

In the pretend caravan of commentary, Robbie turned to the discussion of the points competition. He reckons that to make it interesting, in order to be eligible for the green jersey, you have to have won at least one stage. Bridie suggested Robbie should start a change.org petition to get his idea up.

Mattie was more interested in the veggie patches in people’s backyards along the course rating how self-sufficient they would be should the supermarkets shut down.

Also on the topic of local produce Mattie was looking squarely at Bob Jungels when he noted the region is renowned for its truffles. Is he implying Jungels is a truffle pig?

You know the answer.

For the most part the peloton was still happy to tootle along on relatively straight roads until they hit the villages and their traffic furniture. Robbie warned roundabouts can be a bit treacherous to negotiate with diesel and dust on the road.  Hmm, I wonder if Robbie’s been listening to Midnight Oil on high rotation lately?

During the Tour the camera people like to get a bit arty with their shots. When the race is held as normal in July they like to get a shot of the riders with a sunflower in the foreground. Now we are on the cusp of Autumn in the northern hemisphere, the shots are from the grape.

The peloton rolled on still at a casual pace. Mattie Robbie and Bridie were getting restless, the couch peloton turned to a game of ‘Bridie Bingo’, a nearest-to-the-post guessing game at when Bridie would peel off from commentary duties. By now the pace was so slow that even Siri was asking how far to go.

At last some excitement as the teams jostled to guide their sprinters up near the front for the run into Privas. After leading an uphill charge in stage four it was time for Murder Hornet Wout Van Aert to collect.

A great win for Van Aert, but not so great for the yellow jersey holder Julian Alaphilippe who had been caught accepting, within 20km to go, a bidon, contrary to the rules on food and drink from, wait for it, his cousin AND trainer (should have known better really) Franck Alaphilippe.

Julian took a 20 second penalty on the chin which saw him slip 19 places in the GC rankings and Adam Yates got to slip on yellow for the first time.