Sunday, September 13, 2020

Stage 14 CLERMONT-FERRAND>LYON - Hats Off To Kragh Andersen.

Stage fourteen and the riders set off for the 194km journey to Frances’s third largest city of Lyon ahead of a huge stage tomorrow culminating in a mountain top finish of the Grand Colombier.

Back in the SBS studio Tomo chatted about a Twitter exchange between Mattie and Caleb Ewan with Caleb daring Mattie to be as excited for him if he wins a stage as Colombian radio commentary was for Dani Martinez’s stage thirteen victory.

With that excitement level challenge set Ewan will have to BMX trick his way across the line in Paris and Mattie will have to scream so hard he pops an eyeball.

Over to, you guessed it, the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahimi was preparing his French-style fish and chips with thebutter.

The Couch Peloton was a little underwhelmed by the effort, even with the artful arrangement of the pommes Pont Neuf. Where are the dimmies, the potato cakes/scallops (it potato cakes thank you) and a pickled onion from the jar on the fish ‘n chip shop counter?

Still, awesome work with the butter and the way Guillaume is going, by the time the Tour reaches Paris he’ll be serving up a life sized bust of himself created purely from herb butter.

News emerged earlier in the day from Fake Mike Tomalaris with the announcement of his retirement. He’d hinted Twitter had been watching his hilarious antics and was none too happy about it, but giving it some thought - did the ASO assassinate Fakey? Bloody ASO, they have their tentacles everywhere!

In the pretend Caravan of Commentary, discussion turned to the issue of a concussion protocol in cycling after Romain Bardet’s crash and abandonment after stage thirteen. I still wonder how, even if a clear concussion protocol is established, hard it would be to implement given that pro riders would rather press on even if both legs snapped off in a crash.

Mattie was looking ahead to tomorrow’s stage culminating at the top of hors categorie Grand Colombier. Normally a climb like this would attract thousands of spectators but not this year due to covid restrictions with a ban on fans.

I can image that virtual Dutch corner will be fans dressed in orange all on a Zoom call getting drunk and accidentally setting fire to the apartment letting off safety flares.

Saturday night and Troll DJ was spinning the discs. A ‘barrage montage’ was accompanied by Dam(n) wish I was your lover. Well played Troll DJ, well played.

The peloton made its way across some beautiful landscapes in a part of the country known as, according to Bridie, “France’s Yarra Valley”. Nice one Bridie, I reckon the Yarra Valley is a corker too.

Not quite the famous Loire Valley today, although the race passes the town of Loire and the region boasts its fair share of chateaux from the magnificent to ruins.

Looked like Chateau de la Faye was too much for the tradies but nothing that the medieval Blockheads can’t sort out. Torture chamber/home cinema anyone?

In the battle for the green jersey Sam Bennett still holds a handy lead over Peter Sagan who is solely focused on getting it back. He made up a little ground and Bora v Bennett is shaping up to be the love story of this Tour.

Eagle-eyed Bridie landed the first roadside random mankini sighting of the Tour. Fortunately, many of us were spared the sight and we were hoping he was wearing a mask at least.


Towering Pillar of Hats - Official TF2 Wiki | Official Team Fortress Wiki


They're mad for hats at the Hat Museum.


The cycling godz were smiling upon the peloton and apart from the wash out in Nice, and maybe some showers on one or two stages, the weather has been great so far. If, and when, you can get there, early Autumn is a fab time to visit Europe, especially the south.

Back on the road and Edward Theuns and Stefan Kung had been out front for much of the day only for Kung to go solo and diesel up the climbs.

Mattie thought with the look on his face Kung was auditioning for the Luna Park entrance. I always thought Fabio Aru had a monopoly on that competition but since Aru has abandoned the field is wide open. And with a nod to the late Paul Sherwen a, “Job of work” to Kung from Mattie.

Meanwhile Troll DJ was playing the classic Troll DJ hits ‘n memories with Jane’s Addiction’s Mountain Song. Things got a bit raunchy with ABBAs Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight), but you know, whatever floats your boat!

Is it just me or is anyone else having trouble distinguishing Movistar from Astana in their respective light blue kits? I think we need to start calling them Movistana or Asstar whenever they are together from now on.

60km to go and as the riders passed through Chazelles-sur-Lyon Mattie spotted a Chapeau or Hat Museum. Chapeau Mattie for pointing this one out!

As the race approached Lyon attacks a plenty came, particularly in the arm wrestle between Bora and Bennett. Bridie spoke of the invisible riders and do any of the invisible riders happen to include Rigoberto Uran by any chance?

In the end it was Danish rider Soren Kragh Andersen who timed his move at the 3km to go mark to notch up his first Tour victory.

Primoz Roglic held on to yellow with a 44 second lead over Slovenian compatriot Tadej Pogacar and nearly one minute over defending champion Egan Bernal.

Will we see fireworks from the Colombian on the Grand Colombier?

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