Friday, September 11, 2020

Stage 12 CHAUVIGNY>SARRAN CORRÈZE - At Last Sweet Victory for Hirschi.

Stage twelve and today would be the longest day in the saddle at 218km over a lumpy course as Le Tour heads toward Friday’s possible critical stage in the Massif Central.

Nearly 24 hours after Caleb Ewan’s second victory in Poitiers, all talk was about Peter Sagan’s relegation from second to 85th for that bump with Wout Van Aert in the sprint.

Many would agree it was the right decision in the interests of rider safety with Fabio Jakobsen’s horrifying crash at the Tour of Poland fresh in everyone’s minds.

Former green jersey champ Robbie McEwen thought relegation was too harsh and the odd bump is all part of the argy-bargy of a sprint and that we don’t want to go down the path of wrapping cycling in too much cotton wool.

Flashback to stage three at the 2005 Tour de France where Robbie himself was relegated for ‘irregular sprinting’ having ridden ‘erratically’ which he claimed, so as to get himself balanced better as fellow Aussie Stuart O'Grady had leaned in on McEwen’s handlebars.

Unfortunately, McEwen counterbalanced using his head against O’Grady. Hmm, shades of the ‘Dipper defence’, where every bump, he swears, was an accident? 

Others reckon Sagan was hard-done by as they believed the former triple World Champion leaned in toward Van Aert to avoid a selfie-stick protruding over the barrier. Could this be the #selfiestickgate controversy of the 2020 Tour? Could this have been a selfie-stick plant as part of a conspiracy to deny Sagan the green jersey?

At least there’s some photographic evidence to back this up, so we can safely rule out 5G, Bill Gates and the Clintons in the plot.

Over to the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahini didn’t hold back on the butter in his Apple tarte Tatin with cinnamon ice-cream. After a slow start he gets my tick of approval but no ticks of approval from the Heart Foundation with 100g of butter in the recipe.

Out on the course a break was established including Luis Leon Sanchez, Imanol Erviti, Max Walscheid, Nils Politt, Mathieu Burgaudeau and Kasper Asgreen who held their ground against a determined chase by peloton.

As the peloton rode through the rolling countryside Robbie, Bridie and Mattie noted the changing of the seasons and the hay bales in the paddocks as farmers get ready for winter.

Bridie noticed some hay bales were wrapped in plastic. Robbie suggested that the farmers bought some cheap hay bale plastic from Le Bunnings - which is only available in Melbourne via Le Click ‘n’ Le Collect.

Field art played a big part of today’s stage as it paid tribute to ‘the eternal second’ Raymond Poulidor, or Poupou as he was affectionately known as who passed away in November last year and to former French president Jacques Chirac.

The field art tribute to Poupou in the old velodrome in his home village of St-Leonard-de-Noblat was fitting to the great man.

Top marks to the wheel formation with the six-and-a-half-thousand-year-old Neolithic wheel hub. I’d say it’s time to have the bearings looked at though.

No points to what looked like a hay bale BMX with drop bars. It was either that or a road bike that’d been backed over by agricultural machinery.

But the kicker had to be the tribute to Jacques Chirac with an impressively large depiction of the former president. As an added bonus the day’s stage winner also picks up a Jacques Chirac Spice Rack, valued at 200 euros. Only at Le Bunnings, that’s nice!



RUMOUR CONFIRMED: Dimmeys to re-open on Victoria Street – 3AW

Former VFL player Robert 'Dipper' DiPierdomenico claimed every bump was an accident before forging a career spruiking for Dimmeys. BE THERE!!!


Dave Macka called in to the SBS studio for his regular Zoom meeting. Er Macka, that was some poor internet connection right there but then again it’s typical of the shit internet Aussies have to deal with every day.

This reminded the Doc in Chateau du Tete of her joke from Italian holidays in 2013: internet access in Pompeii was better than at home in Melbourne.

The pretend caravan of commentary has been struck by how quite the Colombian Rigoberto Uran has been this year. Look he’s usually quiet, but not that quite we hadn’t realised he was at this year’s Tour until now.

As the race headed toward the Sarran Correze the make-up of the breakaway had changed somewhat after a series of attacks.

Max Schachmann, Quentin Pacher and Marc Soler were there but Marc Hirshi had the support of Sunweb teammates Kragh Andersen and Tiesj Benoot.

It had been looking improbable that the break would succeed but Hirschi got out in front at 30km to go and despite a concerted chase soloed across the line with a finger tips kiss victory salute.

What a great ride and well deserved first win at the Tour de France at the tender age of 22 for Hirschi who had come so close in stage two in Nice and stage 8B in Laruns.

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