Stage eleven and was time for Le Tour to head east from the Atlantic coast toward the Massif Central. It promised to be another flat stage for the sprinters but with a kick up at the end to see who’s honest.
Before the race even began there was some drama for a couple
of riders who went down at a roundabout in the neutral zone. Cyril Gautier was
one of them who bunny hopped and crashed into a sign. How embarrassment.
Fortunately, all were able to pick themselves up and roll through to the start.
Back in the SBS studio Tomo was trolling the Couch Peloton picking
up on the debate on stage ten as to the identity of the elusive Troll DJ. Tomo hinted that Troll DJ could be female but
that’s just a red herring as we all know it’s Fake Mike Tomalaris on the
turntables.
Ad watch: That Penfolds commercial again. It says Fine never
wrote Beethoven’s fifth because, well Beethoven wrote it? Who is this ‘Fine’
they speak of anyway?
Over to the Plat du Tour outdoor kitchen this time and Guillaume
Brahini prepared the French classic Mussels Marinieres served with grilledbaguette. He simply heated a large pan over a fire, in went a descent knob of
butter, shallots, the mussels, white wine, some parsley and for a richer sauce
a little creme fraiche. So simple and a delight for seafood lovers, unless you’re
allergic to shellfish of course.
Out on the course Matthieu Ladagnous was the only rider to
go out on his own from the flag drop. The forecast was for a relatively light
headwind and the peloton didn’t seem at all interested in a chase.
Perhaps it was a relief to the riders to get through the
potential carnage of cross winds on stage ten (all of which I missed mind you)
but the riders were content to tootle along at coffee ride pace.
The landscape was quite flat and when the race is held in its
regular slot in July you’d normally expect to see fields of bright yellow sunflowers
that epitomise the great race.
Not this time, the tournesol, as they are known in French,
had long finished and only the withered brown stalks and seed heads remain, which,
according to Mattie, Morticia Addams would be delighted with.
A number of horses – and the occasional cow- were spotted
along the course from the Tour chopper and what was it with the neighing? it
was either an extremely loud horse or the French TV people having fun with
sound effects - the Tour with added barn yard noises. They may have may have
jumped the shark with the horse clip clop sound effects though. What is this,
‘Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday’?
As the peloton passed through the town of Echire, Bridie
noted it’s famous for its butter that’s served at Buckingham Palace and the
Principality of Monaco. Seems along with Guillaume Brahini everyone’s on the
butter this evening.
In Covid news we’ve learned that along with Tour Race
Director Christian Prudhomme, Cofidis, Ineos, Mitchelton and AG2R each had a
staff member test positive to the virus. Remember the rule is two positives in
a team and they’re out, that’s four teams roughly at the halfway mark at risk of
being booted from the Tour.
Back to the course and Mattie spotted of all things a brick
museum. That’s right, a brick museum You’d have to be keen. Some members of the
Couch Peloton were mortar-fied at the prospect of a visit. I think my eyes
would glaze over…
In the pretend Caravan of Commentary Robbie, Mattie and
Bridie turned to thequestion of should mere mortals be seen in team kit and is
it frowned upon by the pros?
They see no problem with it as online sales go back to the team
to help keep them on the road. Robbie for one thinks it’s fantastic to see a
green jersey when he’s out for a ride, but that’s Robbie.
However, Mattie and Robbie did draw the line at the world
champion rainbow jersey with the exception of youngsters.
This reminded Mattie of the story of Aussie cyclist
Billy-Joe Shearsby who had been working as a bike courier. One day he was told by
another cyclist that to wear the rainbow jersey you have to have earned it.
Shearsby said, “I know”. Shearsby would know having won the teams pursuit at
the 1993 World Championship. As it turned out the rest of his gear was in the
wash that day.
Wild horses couldn't drag Caleb Ewan away from a win.
With all the horse sightings Troll DJ couldn’t help itself but
to bring out Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones, my favourite song about horses
after the Mr Ed theme. Thankfully we were spared that other song about horses.
The pace started to lift slightly and according to Bridie,
“The peloton is like a school of fish moving as one beast”. That left us
wondering if this was a school of pilot fish being a sprinter’s stage.
Whichever way you looked at it it was time for the peloton
to reel in the lone breakie and Ladagnous was caught at 43km to go.
Over the course of the race Gregor Muhlberger looked like he
was having a tough time. He’d passed the temperature check that morning but
seemed to have been suffering a fever of some kind. At 38km to go Muhlberger abandoned. Fingers
crossed it’s not the Rona.
Bridie Bingo was called and the prize was a wheel of cheese!
Not sure exactly what type but it could be no match for the ripened wheel of
Camembert sitting in my fridge after 37 hours with no electricity.
30 km to go and Ion Izagirre went down in a crash and
according to Robbie looked dazed and confused at the road side and with that
he’s out of the Tour.
Jose Rojas was involved in that crash and it looked like
he’d run a cheese grater over his kit whilst still wearing it. Ouch!
The peloton was starting to put the hammer down to get the
sprinters up front.
A soigneur with what looked like a feed bag was spotted 18km
to go. No one collected it but haven’t the teams been paying attention to the
rules about handing up food and drink within 20km to go on a sprint stage?
The run to the line in Poitiers had a bit of an uphill section
sure to sting the legs. Peter Sagan looked threatening but again out of nowhere
Aussie Caleb Ewan snatched the win. Who says Caleb can’t climb?
Sagan was second across the line but was relegated to 85th
after getting in the way of Wout Van Aert.
The battle for green just got harder.
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