Stage 21 MANTES-LA-JOLIE>PARIS CHAMPS-ÉLYSÉES - The Tour Comes Home.

Well, here we are, after three magical weeks the Tour has finally arrived in Paris. I’ll keep this short and sweet as by now we’ve seen the film many times over – the Sunday coffee ride into Paris followed by a crit race on one of the most famous streets on the planet and yes, they had the jets with the tricolour chemtrail!

For the last time Guillaume Brahimi made his way to the Plat du Tour kitchen and made a bowl of another French classic, onion soup.  Bravo Brahimi on your debut to the SBS Tour de France coverage, Gabs would be proud.

What an amazing Tour, Tasmania’s Richie Porte sealed his third place on the Paris podium, Primoz Roglic is the runner-up and how about Tadej Pogacar who just a day shy of his 22^nd birthday won the yellow, the KOM and the white jersey for the best young rider. That is some birthday present but has anyone asked Pog if he’s peaked too early?

And too think Pogacar had only had ambitions to just get to the Tour. Chapeau to the Pog, he has a stellar career ahead of him.

Chapeau to Sam Bennett for winning the final stage (bad luck Caleb) and being the first Irishman to win the green jersey competition since Sean Kelly in 1989.

Chapeau to the SBS team who bring us this spectacle every year and chapeau to Robbie and Mattie as always. Big shoutout to Dr Bridie O’Donnell who has been such a great addition to the caravan of commentary team.

And the biggest chapeau to all on the Couch Peloton whether a first timer or a seasoned veteran for following my inane recaps every day.

This is the first edition of Le Wrap since the last in 2017. Extraordinary times called for a revisit. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed posting each day of the Tour but this will be it for now, but you never know I may come back in future years to cover the great race.

Finally, the Tour has given three weeks of joy in lockdown Melbourne. This is a race of perseverance and resilience. We fully understand that and with that we will win.

Stage 20 LURE>LA PLANCHE DES BELLES FILLES - It's the Pog Over the Rog as Porte Podiums.

Stage 20 and it’s a 36.2km individual time trial from Lure to La Planche des Belles Filles. With Tadej Pogacar just 57 seconds behind Primoz Roglic and Tasmania’s Richie Porte eyeing of third for the Paris podium on Sunday, this was shaping up to be a nail-biter of a day.

So far the Tour has been a race of attrition, a race of nutrition but tonight it’s the race of truth and truth is very thin on the ground these days.

This was no flat fullgaz style time trial – it starts off flat but kicks up at in the final 5.9km at an average gradient of 8.5%.

The course was cause for a mix of strategies. Some riders would start on a time trial bike and swap for the lighter road bike for the climb to La Planche des Belle Filles. It still made me wonder why the bike change? If it’s going to be too steep for a TT bike, then why only regular road bikes?

In the Plat du Tour kitchen for the second last time Guillaume Brahimi was putting a fancy twist to the famous fancily named toastie, the croque monsieur. In this version he uses smoked salmon instead of ham and mozzarella. However, I’m pretty sure this is technically a croque madame with the addition of salmon roe.

Out on the course and the riders took to the road one by one. The starting order is the reverse of the GC standings so it was a long wait for the top riders. Good thing about a long ITT is being able to nap early on and not miss out on much of the action. Boy, this last week has been difficult trying to stay awake.

Kudos to Troll DJ for bringing out The Good, the Bad and The Ugly. That’s cycling for you and a nice tribute to Ennio Morricone. Oh, and to vaches, horses and raptors as well.

Some understated support for Thibaut Pinot judging by the paint on the road in the town of Melisey. Well, it is Pinot’s home town after all and it probably helps that his father is the mayor so no problem with getting permission to paint Pinot’s name all over the road.

As the starting order edged toward the final ten, Nairo Quintana started as the seventeenth last rider and I really feel for Quintana who had a run of rotten luck with crashes this Tour.

As Richie Porte warmed up Robbie mentioned Porte would probably be listening to some Metallica and Troll DJ obliged with Enter Sandman. Gotta say Troll DJ is very astute, definitely sharper than a bag of wet mice.

In thirteenth place Guillaume Martin took to the road. He enjoyed a few days in third in GC and I was hoping he could get back into the top ten.

Talk about home ground advantage but that was a good ride from Pinot but no threat to the hot seat.

Fingers crossed and Porte rolled out of the start house. He is a very good time trialist and so far so good. He was opting for a bike swap, potentially risky if Richie or the team fluff it.

Not even Dexter dared to predict.

But as Australia’s greatest cyclist Cadel Evans noted in his Zoom chat with Tomo and Mark Renshaw, the gains outweighed the risks by swapping for a lighter road bike. Fortunately, there was a nicely executed bike change for Richie and his pace was enough to bump Superman Manuel Angel Lopez off the third step on the Paris podium.

All eyes however were on Pogacar and Roglic, the last two riders to leave the start house.

Roglic was looking strong, like one big glute ball out back. Maybe a yellow skinsuit will do that to you but with glutes like that it’s no wonder he’s good in the mountains.

Pogacar was putting in a belter of a ride and it was game on, Pog v Rog, and with Porte in the mix it was super excite.

The times between the two Slovenians narrowed and you know shit is serious in an ITT when the Perfect Match split screen appears.

The times were even for Pog and Rog and not even the Perfect Match robot Dexter was prepared to make a prediction.

That’s it! It’s official, Richie has made it to the podium!

Amazingly the Pog posted the fastest time to not only win the stage but cleaned up the yellow, the polka dots and white jerseys. Incredible, all this and he’s only two days away from his 22^nd birthday.

It was also a great day for Slovenia with the tiny country on the top steps on the podium. No sour grapes from Roglic, it must be devastating to lose the yellow so close to the Paris procession, but a big hug from the Rog with the Pog and that’s special.

No doubt this will go done in history as one of the best ITT stages of all time. Many will compare it to the battle between Greg LeMond and Laurent Fignon in the individual time trial in the final stage way back in 1989 when the American made one of the greatest comebacks to win the Tour by eight seconds.

Now only Paris awaits.

Stage 19 BOURG-EN-BRESSE>CHAMPAGNOLE - Time Is On Andersen's Side.

Stage nineteen and we’re so close to Paris by now you almost reach and touch it. Well, not quite, it is a few hundred kilometres away but you get what I mean. Some relief for the riders though with the big mountains out of the way and a chance for the sprinters to shine once more.

During the day news came through of Jumbo-Visma sports director Merijn Zeeman’s expulsion from the Tour for, ‘intimidation, insults, improper behaviour of a team member towards a UCI member during the bicycle check carried out after stage 17’.

Apparently Zeeman became agitated during a check of Primoz Roglic’s bike for motor doping, which has become routine in recent years. He became ‘emotional’ when a UCI official removed the crankset for closer inspection and Zeeman alleged the crankset had been damaged – a claim refuted by the UCI.

So Zeeman has his lad in yellow but has been kicked out of the Tour. His bank account will also be CHF 2,000 lighter for the fine he has to pay on top of his expulsion. CHF 2,000 by the way is about the price of a coffee and a sandwich at a Swiss airport.

Speaking of money, Tomo had Rochelle Gilmour back and the discussion turned to real estate and how cheap it is to buy rural property in places like France and Spain compared to Australia.

You can buy a 100 room chateau with large grounds full of game in France for the price of a handkerchief sized block with just a termite ridden outhouse on it in inner Melbourne next to a meth-lab.

Over in the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahimi was making chicken a la crème. Another good looking recipe and I might actually get around to making some the Plat du Tour recipes one day.

Back to the SBS studio and Macka checked in for the regular Zoom meeting. All eyes were on Tasmania’s Richie Porte who held on to fourth place in the GC after that puncture on gravel in yesterday’s stage.

In a post-race interview Porte was grateful for some of the support he received from the Murder Hornets, and the main lesson from Porte is, “It’s good to have friends in the peloton”; which could be interpreted as be kind to others and what goes around comes around, or simply just don’t shit in the nest of the peloton.

Over to the race (yes, there was some racing today) and the Remi Cavagna TGV had left the station.

Cavagna set a blistering pace on the flat valley roads of the Jura averaging at about 50km at one point, which is roughly around world hour record pace and, as Robbie noted, on a regular road bike.

Perhaps Cavagna was going for the three-hour record over 166km but the TGV was not even slowing through the stations.

Mmmm, Bienenstich!

At the 105km to go mark a large tractor bell rig was spotted at the roadside. It had lots of bells, in fact all the bells, the only thng missing were the whistles.

By now Cavagna was moving so fast the race was already ten minutes ahead of schedule so the caterers for the end of the stage had better get a wriggle on.

Speaking of food, and one of the more unusual causes for a withdrawal from the Tour, Lukas Postlberger was stung by a bee on the inside of his mouth. I don’t think Postlberger quite got the memo that eating Bienenstich doesn’t mean literally eating a Bienenstich.

Oh, and a standing ovation please for Troll DJ for playing Nirvana’s Stay Away from the album Nevermind in honour of the breakaway. Troll DJ could have gone for other tracks such as On A Plain (flat stage), Drain You (a three week bike race) or how about Territorial Pissings? (Nature break).

Meanwhile in the Cavagna TGV the first class passengers expect to be in Paris before Saturday.

We may have found a winner in the Field Art jersey competition with a cow fashioned from a round of cheese drinking a glass of milk and winking at us. Actually ‘the Winking Cow doesn’t just win the Field Art jersey, it’s worthy of inclusion in the Louvre.

Halfway through the race and Cavagna was joined by riders looking for some glory including Peter Bennett, Sam Sagan, Matteo Trentin and Soren Kragh Andersen. With so many sprinters congealing up the front, it was hard to pick a winner.

Andersen went solo from 16km to go and with a yell for “TIME!!!!” in the last kilometres, time was on his side and notched up win number two.

In the Bennett v Bora Battle, Bennett looks to have the green jersey competition stitched up. Roglic looks to have all but won the Tour de France but all eyes will be on tomorrow’s individual time trial, and Richie Porte, for a possible spot on the podium in Paris.

Stage 18 MÉRIBEL>LA ROCHE-SUR-FORON - Kwiat and Carapaz Finally Deliver for Ineos.

Stage eighteen and another big day in the Alps after yesterday’s monster Queen stage. We’re getting toward the end of the Tour now and there will be a lot of tired bodies in the peloton.

Straight to the action and a sizable breakaway got going and I wondered what’s with the fishing reel sound effect? Is it meant to be the sound of a free-wheeling rear hub or a breakie fishing for a stage win?

Later the Tour chopper spotted vaches, and lots of them and we herd cowbells too…Yeah, nah not that keen on the ‘Hey, Hey It’s Saturday’ level sound effects at this year’s Tour.

News came through of Aussie Couch Peloton favourite Andre Greipel’s withdrawal from the race and sadly we won’t see him go for a possible stage victory in Paris on Sunday. In a tweet from his team Israel Start up Nation, Greipel expressed, ”I am a father, and I have to show my kids - the way: Never quit unless having nothing left.”

 After eighteen stages of late nights how many others have nothing left? Big show of hands from the Couch Peloton, me included.

In the pretend SBS caravan of commentary, Robbie, Mattie and Bridie were discussing the gear ratios riders used by the riders to tackle the steep climbs in stage seventeen. Robbie said Tasmania’s Richie Porte had a 36 at the front and 33 at the back set up.

In many situations the legs would spin like the Roadrunner with that setup except for the toughest of ramps but we all could have done with a 36 cog to get us through this stage too.

Discussion turned to the eyebrow raising decision to award Julian Alaphilippe the most combative prize for yesterday’s ride. Hands down everyone (apart from the French) thought Richard Carapaz was more deserving.

Shout out from Bridie to the Oarsome Foursome and thanks for the Goulburn Valley tinned fruit commercial, “Mango, mango, peaches” ear worm. OK, I can't find the original ad but check out the lads in this one.

Out on the course and the stage was a real up and down affair with five opportunities to collect KOM points. Carapaz, Michal Kwiatkowski and Marc Hirschi took the lead. Benoit Cosnefroy had managed to wrestle back the polka dot jersey the day before only to see the spotty jersey pass from Cosnepois to Polkacar.

With the Cormet de Roseland and Cote de la Route des Villes out of the way, Carapaz, Kwiatkowski and Hirschi went over the top. Carapaz was in hot pursuit of Hirschi on the descent but Hirschi crashed at 68km/h overcooking a corner. Hirschi hit the deck on his left side and slid into what looked like a soft bank at the roadside.

 

Kwiat and Carapaz make a deal.

Hirschi got straight back on his bike and continued to chase as he tried bashing the left brake hood straight on the handle bars. Road rash didn’t seem to slow Hirschi down here.

Back in the SBS studio and Tomo was reading out the Couch Peloton tweets and hashtags in support of Richie Porte. #RoarforRichie was the clear favourite in the hashtag stakes reminiscent of #YellforCadel, but the ducks are even getting behind Richie Porte with #PaddleforPorte

Spectators on the climbs appeared to be better behaved than the rather alarming behaviour of the roadside randoms on the Col de Loze the day before.

Makes me wonder how simple rope barriers seem to do the trick in separating spectators from the riders and why weren’t they deployed on the Loze where it really mattered? Still, it’s a sign of these covid times when the sight of crowds and screaming fans without masks is now positively cringe-worthy.

Ever wondered what goes into a musette or feedbag you see riders collect in the feedzones? Jumbo-Visma took time out to show how to keep the hungry hornets buzzing. Gels, energy bars, a banana and maybe a sports drink go into the bag along with a well-known brand of carbonated beverage.

You can have your fancy gels with caffeine shots and isotonic sports drinks but at the end of the day nothing beats a red can.

Back to the race and the lead riders were heading for the gravel section of the Col de Glieres and I wondered if the riders swap road for gravel bikes with bags covering every inch of the frame for a bike packing adventure?

No bike swap and once on the gravel it’s, “Heigh-ho, the gravel-o, A-hunting we will go”.

Drama for Porte as he looked to be having trouble on the gravel and it was quickly established he had a front wheel puncture.

Porte lost time to his GC rivals but with a change of bike from the team car he was on his way and managed to claw back the deficit and hang onto fourth in GC.

In the final 27km to the finish Ineos teammates Kwiatkowski and Carapaz were in the clear and the question was who would go first across the line?

A deal was struck, Kwiat for his first stage win and Carapaz gets to wear the dots having cleared Polkacar by two points.

In a scene reminiscent of Thelma and Louise without a cliff-dive at the finale - although you could say Ineos’s Tour campaign as a whole was a cliff-dive – it was a covid safe fist bump as the pair crossed the line.

Stage 17 GRENOBLE>MÉRIBEL COL DE LA LOZE - Superman, Super Effort.

Stage seventeen and we’ve arrived at the Queen stage of the Tour, one in which much like the pieces on a chess board the GC riders will make their moves and shake up the standings.

With two brutal climbs ahead; the Col de la Madeleine and the Col de la Loze, Tomo said Robbie was licking his lips in anticipation of the stage but Robbie maintained it was because he’d finished off the catering.

All eyes in the SBS commentariat and the Couch Peloton were on Tasmania’s Richie Porte who was sitting in sixth place on the GC and there was an opportunity today to aim for the top three.

In the pre-race interview Porte looked relaxed. He said he was, “Motivated, a bit like a duck under water, cool calm and collected on the outside”. I’ve seen Porte’s swims on Strava and he’s not bad at it so he should be alright today.

The big news of the day was defending champion Egan Bernal’s withdrawal from the Tour. Tomo had questioned why Bernal would not press on to Paris and give something back to the team mates who supported him.

Fair question but Bernal had been suffering back problems and an issue with a knee. Today’s huge climbs would probably make things worse.

Bernal is the first defending champion to abandon the Tour since Chris Froome in 2014. But the Colombian is young and like Froome he’ll probably be back in the hunt for yellow next year.

Out on the road and after a fast start a bunch of riders went off the front of the peloton including Julian Alaphilippe, Richard Carapaz, Gorka Izagirre, yesterday’s stage winner Lennard Kamna.

As the moto cameras followed the lead riders, Robbie noticed that Kamna was always eating. Riders constantly need to fuel their bodies on a huge mountain stage, and reflecting on his days in the Tour, Robbie said he felt like a, “Thanksgiving turkey in a feed lot”.

And with that Mattie threw to Guillaume Brahimi in the Plat du Tour kitchen where he was preparing his Paris mash. Why Paris mash? Guillaume said he was looking for inspiration when his mother sent him a copy of the gossip magazine ‘Paris Match’ and that’s how his mashed spuds got their name.

To successfully make the dish he dries off the potatoes in a saucepan on the stove and when stirring in the milk and butter (of course) he uses a “wooden spoon and guns”.

Not all heroes wear undies on the outside and cyclists don't wear them on the inside either.

In honour of today’s queen stage, Troll DJ brought out the Queen hits. Heh, saw what you did there Troll DJ!

‘I Want to Break Free’ and of course ‘Bicycle Race’ got a look in. Later, out came Queen and Bowie's ‘Under Pressure’, however, if the forecast for possible bad weather was realised at the top of the Col de la Loze it could turn to ‘Ice, Ice Baby’ for the peloton.

Back on the road and there was a rare sighting of Rigoberto Uran and I'm still perplexed about how a bloke in hot pink kit can hide in the peloton for more than two weeks and be third in GC.

For the riders in the laughing group today’s stage was all about surviving the time cut and the Quick Steppers were all for getting Peter Bennett in green to the finish.

Cosnepois was hanging on to the polka dots but only just and the day before conceded that he’d probably lose his grip on the KOM competition.

More tunes from Queen from the Troll DJ until it brought out the Couch Peloton classic ‘Cows with Guns’.

So there you have it - in one night we had Guillaume's guns and Cows with Guns.

First huge climb of the day and Carapaz was first over the top of the Col de la Madeleine, but Tadej Pogacar picked up enough KOM points to take the lead from Cosnepoid so now Tadej is the Polka Pog.

Back in the peloton and the Murder Hornets collected musettes to feed the Rog who was determined to be at his best to defend himself against an attack from the Pog sitting just 40 seconds behind in the GC.

With the Madeleine out of the way an even bigger beast awaited in the form of the Col de la Loze, a 21.5km climb at an average gradient of 7.8% but the sting in the tail were the ramps at 24% and 18% toward the finish line.

Alaphilippe and Carapaz started on the climb but soon riders started to crack with Alaphilippe dropped. Carapaz went solo in a gutsy effort from the Ecuadorian but was caught by Miguel Angel Lopez and Sep Kuss at 3km to go but Lopez lived up to his Superman reputation and crossed the line in first place.

The Pog was in hot pursuit of the Rog but Roglic came in second across the line and with time bonuses increased his lead to 57 seconds over Pogacar.

Great ride by Richie Porte, who at one stage had a virtual third place spot on the GC but when the dust had settled, Superman was in third and Porte moved from sixth to fourth and he’s got to be happy about that.

Stage 16 LA TOUR-DU-PIN>VILLARD-DE-LANS - Kamna Collects.

After a well-earned rest day in Isere, Le Tour resumed for some brutal mountain stages in the French Alps.

Earlier in the day Tomo and his team and the Couch Peloton were abuzz with the news SBS secured the broadcast rights for the Tour for the next ten years.  A no-brainer really considering SBS *is* the home of cycling in Australia.

In a statement on Twitter Tomo wrote, “@LeTour could easily have signed a lucrative deal with a commercial Australian network. But ASO is grateful at the treatment and respect SBS has given to their event since 1991. We treat the #tdf with TLC + not as a “throwaway” event held on the other side of the world”.  We on the Couch Peloton couldn’t agree more.

Over to the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahimi shared Tour snack tips on what to put on a charcuterie plate as an alternative to cheese, although I doubt anyone in the Couch Peloton is sick of cheese yet.

From the drop of the flag teams were keen to get riders into an early breakaway as they sniffed an opportunity for a stage win. Among the breakies were Sebastien Reichenbach, Julian Alaphilippe, Richard Carapaz and Lennard Kamna.

Alaphilippe gave a master class in bicycle mechanics when appearing to have a problem with the front derailleur, unclipped his right shoe and gave it a couple of good kicks. Time for a bike change, and it’s a good thing teams carry spares because with a surge in popularity in cycling, which has led to shortages of stock in the bike shops, he could be hanging around for a while for his order to come in.

Troll DJ fired up the Red Hot Chili Peppers for a bridge montage with Under the Bridge, but the riders were ON the bridge, not under the bridge and that was a bridge too far.

With all the attention on the young Slovenian Tadej Pogacar in second place behind Primoz Roglic, attention turned in the SBS studio on how you say ‘Pogacar’. We heard it from the man himself, just remember folks, ‘Pogacar’ is pronounced like ‘focaccia’.

First climb of the day was the Col de Porte, which is named after Richie and is more famous than the lesser known Col de Cole Porter. Thank me later.

Pierre Rolland was also among the big breakie bunch and hunting for KOM points was the first over the Col de Porte and it was shame the honour didn’t belong to Richie Porte.

Soon after the second climb of the day loomed and you just know the ‘laughing group’ would revel in the thought of climbing Cote de Revel...

The Tour chopper spotted the Grande Chartreuse monastery, famous for its liqueur made to an ultra- secret recipe. Robbie and Mattie noted that the monks have a vow of silence and those living through the Melbourne Rona lockdown can relate to the monks who spend 20 hours a day in their rooms.

Hang on, this can't be Richie Porte...

On the ascent of Cote de Revel, Pogacar closely followed Primoz Roglic and you could say the Pog is the Rog's shadow. Rolland meanwhile was first over the top to collect more KOM points and now Benoit Cosnefroy was no longer the Roi of the pois.

The Tour chopper flew past Fort du Saint-Eynard, perched high on limestone cliffs above the city of Grenoble. Stunning.

One thing I must say about the Tour choppers is the TV viewing experience wouldn’t be the same without them, not only for bringing us the natural beauty of France but also the amazing architecture and historical monuments.

Cathedrals and other religious sites are high on the itinerary but one thing I haven’t seen are a lot of names ending in ‘Notre Dame’ but plenty of another kind.  At first first glance you’d say that's an Eglise or church, not a cathedral, but that's only an assumption…

Back to the race and Quentin Pacher took off on the other side of Cote de Revel but was caught by Alaphilippe, Kamna, Carapaz and Reichenbach.

At the next climb, the category one Montee de Saint Nizier du Moucherotte, the breakies had a handy thirteen-minute lead and there was no chance of the peloton catching such a strong group.

Carapaz and Kamna led the climb but Kamna was too strong and time trialled the remaining 18km to the finish at Villard-de-Lans.  

Kamna crossed the line so early he had time for a shower and shave before the yellow jersey group arrived.

Back in the yellow group Pogacar had a bit of a throw but the Murder Hornets, who once again lead the peloton, kept the Pog in check and the Rog held his 40 second lead.

Stage 15 LYON>GRAND COLOMBIER - The Pog, The Rog, The Porte.

Stage fifteen and today’s stage with two category one climbs and a hellish ascent of the hors categorie Grand Colombier, it was day that promised to potentially shape the final week of the Tour.

In the SBS studio Tomo had Mark Renshaw back for the pre-race analysis and according to Renshaw, “The early climbs will soften up the punch in the legs”. I think I get what he means.

Macka was early with his Zoom call and discussion turned to what happens when things initially don’t go to plan in a race. We all know the answer; teams need to implement the P word.

Over to the Plat du Tour kitchen and Guillaume Brahimi was preparing a dessert of Ile flottante with praline and lavender creme anglaise. The dish features meringue pillows floating on custard and Brahimi showed us a party trick that he would encourage us to do try at home – tipping the bowl with whisked meringue mixture upside down over your head. If it sticks it’s ready. Makes me wonder though how many takes were needed for the stunt.

Before too long it was off to the action as racing got under way and it wasn’t long before Troll DJ busted out Before Too Long by Paul Kelly in honour of the riders who notched up there first victories at the Tour.

Onion Skin by Boom Crash Opera made us wince at the sight of battered and bruised cyclists, some of which have had one crash too many. Only thing Troll DJ, was this an alternative version by Boom Crash Opera or a cover?

The race had barely gotten under way when on a descent at about 60km/h Bob Jungels swung to the right of the road catching the front wheel of Sergio Higuita with his back wheel and Higuita went down heavily.

Amazingly Higuita got up, got going but was quickly met by a Tour ambulance. The Colombian national champ made it to the peloton but abandoned. It looked like he banged his head in the crash and with concussion fears for Romain Bardet fresh on everyone’s minds it was probably for the best he didn’t continue.

Soon after an eight-man breakaway formed that included Simon Geschke, Jesus Herrada, Michael Gogl and Pierre Rolland.

I have a great idea for a cycling team name.

Then another crash. Involving Hugo Hofstetter and Richard Carapaz. Not shaping up well for  Egan Bernal who would be counting on help from Carapaz on the climbs.

First climb of the day was the category one Montee de la Selle de Fromentel.  Geschke, Herrada and Rolland were out front and Michael Gogl zig-zagged up the steep climb to make contact.

Robbie and Bridie spotted some field art of what looked like milk and cheese in the gears, chicken on the handle bars and I could have sworn for a moment there the two were talking about Gogl and not the field art. It’s been a long two weeks.

With the Montee de la Selle de Fromentel with its 22% pitch near the top out of the way, it wouldn’t be long for the next Biche of a climb, the categorie one Col de la Biche.

With the Col de la Biche conquered, all 17km at 7.1% average gradient Grand Colombier awaited.

Back in the peloton and Thibaut Pinot was shaking his head again. Just when you think things can go wrong in the Tour you can count on the French to make it happen.

On the ascent of Grand Colombier, Gogl and Rolland held together until Gogl cracked. News came through that both Bernal and Nairo Quintana had been dropped and the Murder Hornets were buzzing with delight as Wout Van Aert led the charge.

At 10km to go the lead group included Primoz Roglic, Tadej Pogacar, Tasmania’s Richie Porte and Adam Yates.

Yates launched an attack and as Yoda would say, “Yates, can you yes”. He was soon caught by the Murder Hornets with Tom Dumoulin doing a fair share of the destroying.

Robbie officially declared that Bernal had blown a foo-foo valve and with that Rigoberto Uran slipped into third place on virtual GC from Bernal and I was going out of my tiny mind!

Uran is also known as ‘Mick Jagger’ in the peloton and when he retires he should put a team together and call it ‘Colombia Start Me Up Nation’.

On the run to the line Richie Porte looked like he was in with a chance of a stage victory but the Slovenians were too strong and it was, in the words of Robbie, “The Pog, the Rog, the Porte”.

Egan Bernal gave that salty look crossing the line. He’s slipped from third to thirteenth, the rest day couldn’t come soon enough.